“I am angry at this country.”
I saw them sing about the rhymes while she cries. My mother Indonesia cries.
Meanwhile, there I was sitting in my all conditioned office having an awry. It is easy to find one, two, three reasons to be angry with my country.
Then suddenly, one thing challenged me. Am I entitled for having this feeling?
“Punakawan” — Solo, 2023.
Yes I do pay my tax, yes I report my tax return annually, and even yes I bring foreign currency back to this country — I am part of the engine of this country’s economy. But still, am I entitled to be angry at my country? I am usually sitting in comfort at my office room, complaining about how I think we, as a country, are in a huge mess, yet I do not bother to get further understanding, even not trying to participate in any social movement. Sadly, shame on me.
Until one day, on a bright Friday afternoon, I packed my laptop bags and left early from my office. I got to my car and drove for hundred miles away to join a grass root social movement with focus in education. I joined them as media volunteer. I was feeling ecstatic because this program is about sharing and empowering public school teachers in Indonesian country side (@rberbagi_ilmu /their Instagram). Not only I would be seeing the heroes of Indonesia next generation, but also other volunteers that decided to do something for this country, instead of just complaining, as I was. Well, my wish was for me to get influenced by their optimism and positivity.
Rumi told us, ‘what you seek is seeking you’, true that, another volunteer reached me and asked if she can join the drive. I thought why not: four hours driving and companion and chit chat. The universe has so much care on me, I found out later that this other volunteer is actually a teacher. Wow I just hit a jackpot. She introduced herself, Ibu Eka, and in few minutes after we chatted I got to know her beautiful life story.
Ibu Eka was a Bali resident and she worked as a teacher for an international school. Something happened and she had to move back to East Java. Moving from Bali and East Java, Ibu Eka had a culture shock. It was unfortunate that between the two places the distance was not just in kilometer but also in way of thinking-way of living. Being a teacher, her mindset was to empower and to improve education of her new area placement to a betterment, but she was rejected. But wait, she did not back down. Ibu Eka fell, but she got herself up. She then decided to participate in various volunteering program on education sector. You rock Ibu Eka! (…even she invited me to join a newly initiated program in our area)
I remember her saying, “I am not yet proud about how (some) Indonesian’s way of thinking… that’s why I am doing what I am doing“. There was in front of me someone doing something to change what she could not accept. There I met Ibu Eka who taught me to act on something instead of just throwing complaints. Salute, Ibu!
Now I remember too my question: Am I entitled to be angry at my country? And yes the universe has so much care on me, the answer fell right in front of my face.
So, shall we be angry? Yes and no, but even if we feel we deserve to be upset, don’t be. Don’t be until we do something. Don’t be until we seek further understanding. Don’t be until we seek further understanding. Don’t be until we have done the reasoning. Don’t be until we have given our everything…
Jember, October 5, 2019 [written for Ruang Berbagi Ilmu]